Real Talk: Kelly Rowland’s Dirty Laundry

Why am I even talking about Kelly Rowland’s Dirty Laundry? First, I think top 40 is great–in that it’s so far gone from anything with substance or talent, that it’s pretty much just laughable at this point. It does the job when you’re looking for new neon bustiers at Forever 21 or at some sloppy bachelorette party. There’s obviously a time and a place for it–well, to me at least. I just love how popular music becoming a parody of itself (cue Trinidad James’ All Gold Everything) and it’s all coagulating into this indecipherable cacophony of 808s and autotune.

It’s hard for me not to turn into a huge cynical asshole when I talk about popular music–actually, basically, all new music if you want to get real here. Like, if I hear another New Order inspired surf-pop band, my head is going to explode into a million pieces–or, more likely: I will think about never leaving my apartment.

BUT THEN, you hear something really nice about one of these presumably hollow souls that create top 40 hits, and you feel okay for a minute–before your neighbors decide to start shouting at nothing again.

Kelly Rowland, originally of Destiny’s Child fame has come out with a new song called Dirty Laundry. What’s so special about that? Well, it definitely feels like one of those “oh shiiiiit” moments for the singer and maybe for pop music in general. Dirty Laundry feels cathartic  even for the listener.

One of the most surprising parts of the song was her jealousy and hostility towards Beyonce. We all thought it, you know? How lousy would you feel being Kelly Rowland instead of Beyonce. I give her MAD props for coming forward with it. As a pop star, she’s expected to be some sort of ideal of perfection, surely she couldn’t get jealous. 

Post-survivor, she on fire, who wanna hear my bullshit?
Meanwhile, this nigga putting his hands on me
I swear y’all don’t know the half of this industry

Daaaamn, and yeah, she also goes into her relationship with her abusive ex, who she claims helped stoke the fire between her and dearest Beyowolf.

He hittin the window like it was me, until it shattered
He pulled me out, he said, “Don’t nobody love you but me
Not your mama, not your daddy and especially not Bey”
He turned me against my sister
I missed ya

Geez, give that guy an A in total douchebaggery.

You go Kelly!